SWIFT transfer still hasn’t cleared, please help?

Last Thursday I bought some coffee while vacationing in Germany. Paid €2.30 via international wire transfer. It's been FIVE DAYS and the transaction still hasn't cleared! Plus it looks like I'm on the hook for a huge transaction fee. What do?

But seriously, we can't buy coffee with Bitcoin until we figure out off-chain transactions. Until then, it's a powerful bank replacement (in the same way a car is a "horse replacement") with fast and cheap worldwide wire transfers. In that manner it's incredibly useful, just don't try to buy anything under $50 with it. (Not yet, anyway…)